I'll love you forever,
I like you for always,
as long as your living my baby you'll be....
You probably recognize the quote from one of my favorite childhood books. I love that book and it is truly how I (along with most other parents) feel about my children. While we love our children dearly, some days a more appropriate quote would be "I'll love you forever, your driving me crazy tonight, as long as your living my baby you'll be".
The days of being a mother of two have been wonderful, but at times very hard. At 3 years old the transition to being a big sister has been less than easy. I think more has to do with the fact that she is now a "threenager" instead of being a big sister. I blog to look back on my children's life, and I enjoy reading about other parents' journeys, as people do mine. I was hesitant to write a blog admitting how hard it can be at times with two, but then I remembered many others are going through the same. Looking through Social Media it seems that many have a second baby, adjust instantly, loose the baby weight in one month, siblings form an instant bond,and yada yada yada. I am sure most(if not all) reading this post can relate to having two babies and can see its not what often is portrayed on Social Media.
I had a plan when Julia was born on how I was going to handle things when we got home.I expected caring for a newborn to be the hardest part, but I was wrong. No reading could have prepared me enough. I bought her a present from Julia, planned to keep her on her schedule, and to set aside one on one time with her, the whole nine yards. Of course nothing ever goes to plan. We had family in and out for three weeks and Julia began to cry constantly at 3 weeks requiring to be held ALL the time. Not even just be held; but by me ONLY! I began to have guilt eat at me; I could not devote as much attention to Ela that I used to or even planned to. I know this is normal and I have friends that are going through the same. I am surprised because I never really expected to feel this emotion out of the many that I had anticipated. For Ela's whole life she received my 110% attention, especially considering that many times Tomasz was working and traveling. During those times it was just the two of us.
The days are getting easier now that we figured out why Julia was crying. I can actually put her down and play a board game with Ela or lay in bed at night and cuddle. I have also made a point to carve away alone time with Ela even if it means she sits in the bathroom while I shower and we chat. Believe it or not, this has become one of my favorite few minutes with her. She is transitioning from tom boy to a little girl and is obsessed with all things beauty products. Recently a trip to the nail salon for her birthday was wonderful for both of our hearts!
I learned a few things in the short time I have been a mom of two:
1. Punishing your kid is harder on the parent than the child.
2. No matter how mad you are at your child you always love them. I remembered feeling that my parents did not love me as much when I misbehaved. In fact the opposite is true; you love them more.
3. A "three"nager has the ability to completely throw off your day and turn your world over!
4. Ela is much smarter that I was at 3 years or even now at 31 years.
5. The love of a parent is selfless. There are days that I forgo a shower just to spend time with my babies or even gave up my coffee for a few days for Julia to adjust to my diet. (scary thought right)
All in all we take it day by day and each day it gets easier. As my pediatrician says " Dont worry she wont even remember how she felt during this time when she grows up" I guess this is true because I am the oldest of four and I survived!
