The Mom Button

I don't write as much as I would like to. I think the reason is because I am a Mom. 90% of the time it is because I just simply don't have the time. The other 10% of the time is because I would rather be spending time with Ela and I don't want to make the time. What prompted me to write this post, was the fact that I am so busy, but still find the time to get more done that I did before I was a mom.

Five or even three years ago, it was just me, Ozzy and Tomasz. Tomasz travels 3-4 days a week and Ozzy is as low maintenance as they come.(until Ela came along but that's a different story) All I had to worry about was myself.Even then I had to make lists to remember to get things done and force myself to clean the house or go to the gym. You know the stuff that no one really likes to do. Now with my little family and less time, it just seems to get done. I don't have time to think about how much I don't want to do it or how tough the times are that I am going through; It just happens because it HAS to happen. I wake and within 1 hour I am out of the house with lunch packed, and a Mom and toddler showered, dressed and ready for the day. On my lunch break I go grocery shopping or make doctor appointments. I get most of my emails done on my Iphone  on the train and have the house clean again(Yes again) before 9. Randomly throughout the day I will reach in my bag and find Ela's toy baby bottle instead of my wallet, or a hair bow in my pocket. I probably even have remnants of  Ela's breakfast on my suit, that my colleagues are kind enough not to point out.  This is my life now; I would not have it any other way.

We all dream about being a Mom as little girls, but when do you really become that "housewife" or a "mother". I swear one day it just clicks. Its like the proverbial placenta. After you give birth, you then pass(I don't really know what happens with it), I guess pass the placenta and that signifies your body to make milk for your baby. I will admit the first few weeks and sometimes even in the first year I had no clue what I was doing as a mom....Or at least THOUGHT I had no idea what I was doing. In reality the "mom button" always kicked in and I (we) figured it out.

Not in the instinct sense but also in the physical sense so much has changed. I cook almost every night(which NEVER happened before). I truly thought I would make the worst wife at the age of 22 because I just could not stand to cook. Now I enjoy it and am always trying new recipes and new ways to sneak in veggies. The same applies for our home. I have this new found OCD for germs. I never was like that until Ela  managed to pick up every single bug, virus, or rash known in the medical dictionary.

So when does it happen? I always wanted children but never thought that I could be the mom that I am today. I even surprised myself. Not that I am tooting my own horn, but my daughter has chunky legs, is  happy and always laughing so I feel like I am doing something right. Not sure when, but it happened. I had a dear friend of mine loose her daughter when she was 8 months pregnant. She never got  to meet her little Angel, but she blogs as a way to express her emotion and grief. She is a mother. The way that she writes is heartfelt and although many others would relate with her grief, mothers truley can relate and empathize with her because she felt the love of a mother. My sister in law laughed and could not believe the day that at Ela's christening(3 months old) and she spit up and I just reached my hand out and saved a near bulls eye from my husbands suit. A few months later when she had her own son, I saw her do exactly the same without thinking twice. It just happens. When given the choice to go out and have fun or spend the day with my little family... it always goes back to being a mom. We crave a break, but after 15 minutes we miss our little one.

I don't know what prompted all of this thought, but maybe its because I finally feel somewhat in control after  bringing the sweetest newborn into this world. At the beginning we dealt with  colic, eczema, allergies, asthma, terrible twos and whatever is to come in the future. I still know how blessed I am no matter what comes by way. It all works out. All of the hard work, sniffles, coughs and late nights all turn out ok when you see the sweetest little smile staring into your eyes... Plus they don't know what the right way is ; to them whatever you do is perfect.

The sincerest form of flattery is imitation.

Ela turns 5!

Man time flies! Just kidding but really...When you ask her how old she is her reply is "five". Just in case you were wondering Mommy and Tata are three years old. ;) She does look like a big girl in her rain boots though!

Tomasz always makes fun of me because I am often heard saying " This is my favorite age". I mean I think overall I just love being a mother, and as Ela gets older there are different parts about each age that I love.  However, 18 months to 24 months( Yes I had to say 24 months because now that my baby is officially two I can no longer quote months) has been by far the funniest. Once she started talking she has not stopped. Whether it is trying to decipher her broken words or the fact that I am rolling on the floor it is just plain hilarious!

Here are the stats: 

1/14/2013- 2 year checkup

Weight : 25.8 pounds

Height: 33 1/4 inches

Head: 47cm

Overall she is in the 35% percentile for her age. She is still my little peanut!

Speaking of peanuts... We had Ela allergy tested again. She had her first reaction to sesame last year right around this time (Allergy Update ) and after determining her allergies ,our Pediatric Allergist recommended yearly visits. Dumb part on my end making the appointment directly after her two year appointment where she had blood drawn (very dramatically) as well. So after setting up "Elmo goes potty" on the Ipad, a bubblegum lolipop, 8 skin pricks and 15 minutes of torture here are the results....

It looks like three reactions but the one closest to her hand is a "Control Allergen". Which means there was only 2 reactions! She still has the sesame and peanut but has outgrown the tree nut allergy.
THAT'S PROGRESS!!- Plus I would rather eat Nutella than Peanut Butter any day!
The hard part now is introducing the Tree Nuts..This could help her outgrow the other allergies. I will be in the parking lot of the ER with the Epi Pen and Benadryl in hand!

A quick Christmas shot with her new Elmo

A early birthday party in Georgia!

<3

Love some Mikey!

She is such a happy girl!

Here is what Ela is up to now that she is 2:

• Climbing on EVERYTHING! Including out of her bed. A week before she was 2 Ela transitioned to the "Big Girl" bed when she got stuck 5 feet above the ground trying to climb out. The first few nights were hard but we are getting the hang of it... except for nap time. Even more entertaining is watching her on the new Video monitor that became a necessity with a little girl in a big room by herself.
• Playing make believe  Calling "Mackie" on her play phone every time she gets a chance. She has pretend conversations with him. Cooking eggs and coffee for Mommy and Tata in her kitchen. Putting her babies to bed and even changing the diapers. Ela smeared her ice cream all over her naked baby and then told me "Baby poo poo" Baby Night night! (English and Polish)
• She LOVES dancing! Ela Dancing! and Ela Dancing #2
• She is almost fully potty trained. I rarely change # 2 diapers because she hates going in her diaper....She is about 80% trained and if we had the time to be home all weekend she would be 100%.
• We have regressed in the eating department mostly because she is too busy. She would rather be doing anything but eating....So as plan "b" we just put her food around and let her eat when she "has time".
• She is very opinionated about clothing...Who am I kidding? About everything!! She often says " Ela no likey" "Is this mine" "I said stop" "What you doing Mommy"  It is good and bad she expresses herself!
• She sings her "ABC's". This is the cutest work in progress ever! Ela ABC

Until later.. I will be chasing Ela around! Never a dull day with my vibrant girl!

Ela's 2nd Birthday Party!

A few months before Ela's birthday we knew her obsession with Elmo would make party planning pretty easy. Then began the Pinterest board searches... We did not really have a big party for Ela last year so I wanted to make sure that she had a great party with all of her little friends. It turns out her birthday fell on a Saturday which worked out perfect. Invites went out, club room reserved and before we knew it she was 2! Here are a few snapshots of her party... I just have to add for the record that when she is over 10 she will not be having all boy parties. All of the " little guests" were boys!

The cupcake table

The infamous cupcakes 

Today party is brought to you by the Letter "E"
and the Number "2"

My Mom made this banner on her Cricket Machine

The food table(we got pizza)...and Elmo juice for the adults.

Whats a party without put the nose on Elmo?!

Mackensie showing Ela how the Elmo register works.

Ela is 2! Loved the shirt minus the typo! 

Baloons were the best hit!

Babcia, Mommy and Great Grandma

All Ela's buddies singing "Happy BIrthday". This the quietest
the party was the whole afternoon.... CUPCAKES!

                                     

" No Levi... this is where the nose goes!"

Special Card made by a special friend...

The "Levi's"

Opening Presents

Blowing Elmo bubbles!

And finally...Its not party without someone dancing
on the table!

It was such a great day! So much so that Ela begged to go to bed at 4:30. since she would not nap before the party... We kept her up until 6:30 and then she was out in her big girl bed! The first time without a fight!

A little of this and a little of that....

Life has been going by so fast and I have so much going. I am going to change it up a bit and privilege you to some of the mish mash going on in my head.

• When I was growing up with my other three siblings the line I heard my mom say the most was "Oh ok who did it then? A ghost?!". What she was referring to is how we all would unanimously deny the stain on the carpet or leaving the lights on in a room when we left. Well....at almost two years of age my daughter has learned the art of denial or more so deflection. On one occasion I walk into the room and there are Cheerios ALL over the floor, here is how the conversation goes. Me: Ela who did this. Ela: I dont know. Me: Ela, you know who did this, please tell Mommy Ela: Elmo did. Bad Boy. <include finger scolding> Blaming Poor Innocent Elmo; Her best friend. Now this is not the only time. She has perfected the art of deflection great; last time "Baby Liv" broke her paci and chewed on her crib. What is so great on her part is that I am usually laughing too hard to be upset. KARMIC.RETRIBUTION

•  Moving to NY and not really knowing many people with the exception of family, the first few months were very quiet and boring. All of a sudden if feels like we have no free time now. We met several friends and now have a packed schedule. Now I look forward to a quiet weekend. Irony right?I have two thoughts on this: #1.Meeting friends when you have children is easier than when you were in college. Automatic conversations starters. A bigger plus is you don't have to make excuses or feel bad for interrupting a conversation when your kid poops. At get together, the parents have wine while kids play! No judgement about drinking wine either...Anyone that has kids knows alchol is a must have! #2. At my age(early thirties), meeting new friends is similar to dating. You awkwardly ask for a phone number or email hoping they don't think your crazy, then hang out, and then the great debate of how soon is too soon to call.  We  met a couple, hung out and halfway through knew there was not going to be a life long friendship. How do you tell someone that you don't want to hang out again. It has happened on both ends of the spectrum. On the other hand we hang out with some new people and instantly click. JUST.LIKE.DATING

•  Mommys are busy people whether you work or are a stay at home mom. Sometimes our little ones know just how to push us over the edge of sanity. Whether it be pulling every toy out of the toy box, throwing a whole bowl of oatmeal on the floor or just being a toddler, sometimes Ela can just plain exhausts me. These are the days that I look forward to a little free time. 340 days out of the year I let her go to bed when she is tired(usually around 7:45/8)...but those other 16 or so days(give or take) I just need to put her to bed and have an immediate glass of wine.(and Ice Cream). Why is it when I finally get free time after an eventful day, I am peeking in Ela's room 20 minutes later just staring at her and thinking how sweet she looks? I know other Mom's can relate...My sister in law put it perfectly...Us women/moms just don't know what we want!! SO SO true. We get a moment of free time and all we can think of is our babies. TRUE.LOVE.

• Potty Training a toddler sucks!. Ela goes on the potty 4-5 times a day now....the only problem is the part of wearing no diapers. She understands when she sees the potty she goes poo poo or pee pee but not the concept of not going her diaper. If she has an accident it does not bother her in the least. She has also confused her bodily movements....She tells me she has poo poo when she pees and vice versa. So the other day when I was on the phone with Tomasz and Ela was diaper free I should have known better when she said "Ela make pee pee". I thought the day that I re-housed my dog would be the last time I cleaned poop off the floor.  I never in my wildest ideas imagined I when I was younger and dreaming about being a mom how much dirty work was involved. ENOUGH.SAID

So that's really all that's been on my mind or going on lately.

The inseperable three....

Let me start out by saying I am not sure if this blog is intended to be informative, a "your not alone" blog for other moms with children suffering from allergies,asthma and ezcema or even a vent.  I apologize if this is a wordy post, but if you have ever had a sick child I am sure you can empathize.

If you have been reading my blog for a while you know that Ela is a overall happy go lucky baby girl that loves to be outdoors. In just a few short months she will be two. For only two years of life she sure has gone through alot. Let me start at the beginning....

Around three months Ela developed Eczema. For those that don't know it is basically excessively dry skin caused by irritations such as allergies or pets. This was back in the Ozzy days...little did we know that we would find out he was the cause less than a year later.After a few trips to the dermatologist and a suspicion <who was I kidding looking back all of the signs were there> of allergies, we figured out how to control it and now lotion Ela regularly. The eczema went away when we moved to our new apartment but so did Ozzy.

Eczema- Happiest Baby on 54th Street

 

Ela turns 1! Shortly after her first birthday she started daycare and immediately began to enjoy it! She made alot of friends and enjoyed playing. About a month into daycare, I was feeding Ela and she had a severe allergic reaction to Sesame! I gave her Tahini sauce and after the worst scare of my life, we ran straight to the allergist. After a skin test it was confirmed that Ela was allergic to Sesame, Peanuts, TreeNuts and dogs. She was a little too young for skin test, but any knowledge was better than none.

 

Food Allergies- My Sweet Tomato

 

Allergy Update

 

As if I had a magic ball, my progressive "googling" predicted the future.<I now have my Google Doctorate> Each time I would research either the eczema or the food allergies the website would say that most children with exema or food allergies usually have asthma. .

 

UGH! Asthma runs in my family and I suffered in my late teens. Sure enough after months of a recurrent night cough Ela was diagnosed with Asthma. At the beginning we thought it was just being constantly sick from daycare. That was the majority of it, but in kids with asthma, colds are the trigger for attacks. After a rough allergy season,we figured out Ela did have asthma. She was started on an inhaler which instantly did wonders. As the fall allergy season progressed we started seeing the coughing again. Flash forward to last night and we were in the ER for an asthma attack. Poor girl was still giggling and playing but could not breathe.

 



 

So that leaves me sitting here typing this post. I am full of emotions; the biggest one is amazement.With all this little girl has been through how is she honestly is the happiest smiley girl. She loves life and most days although she is not 100% ,you would never know. Then I feel sad. I wish I could take on all of her allergies and asthma so she would never have to feel this discomfort. Then I feel grateful. So many other mothers deal with a their child having a life threatening disease or disability. I feel grateful this is so manageable and controllable. Then comes hope. Will she grow out of the asthma? Will she grow out of the food allergies? Back to sad. How am I going to feel when she is at a birthday party and cant eat the cake for fear the bakery accidentally let a peanut sneak into the cake? The last emotion bothers me the most. Did I cause this? I ate apples and peanut butter everyday while pregnant. If it was not apples and peanut butter was it the Sesame bagel with strawberry cream cheese <yes I was pregnant> that I frequented? My family history has both allergies and eczema. I know I will never know what caused the inseparable three but I sure am going to try to conquer them.

 

On the hopeful side....

*60% of children grow out of asthma especially if diagnosed before 2 years of age. Those that don't outgrow asthma show reduced symptoms with the onset of puberty.

*6-8% of children have food allergies. High chance of growing out of it by age 4. Although most kids with peanut allergies do not grow out of it.

*Asthma is the most common illness that sends children to the ER. This seems silly to be hopeful but it is one of the most understood and treatable illnesses.  There is alot of information and hopefully a full cure in the future.

 

So where does that leave us now?

 

*We purchased a air purifier today. I hope to get ahead of the triggers to reduce the medicines. And alot of dusting! (No more Ozzy either)

*Back to the allergist. Now that she is older we can have her tested more accurately and again...get ahead of the triggers.

*Continue to teach our family, friends and daycare about the signs of asthma and food allergies in addition on how to use the rescue inhaler and epi pens.

*And on a personal note for me; stay positive it could be worse- Much worse

 

I do not know anyone personally that has a child effected by the Inseparable Three. I am going to start looking online for "Toddler with Asthma" support groups similar to a Mom group I currently belong to online. It is a great resource and area to get advice on prevention and treatment.  <"Does this medicine make your child hyper too" >

Does anyone out there have any advice for a Mom trying to manage the Inseperable Three and a toddler not letting her illness get in her way?

 

 

 



One....errr TWO!

So yes....Ela is going to be two. This is new news to me.

 I was leaving the park the other day and Ela started crying "slide Ela do slide" and joking around I said " oh Ela it must be hard to be one". Another Mom said wow she talks alot for one. I was like well... really she is 20 months, and she replied well then she is almost two. HOLLY CRAP! She is almost two! I have been so used to saying she is "x" amount of months for her whole life. Not anymore, soon to be just plain old two. Little Ela and all of her sassy ways are almost two!

So what does the life of an "Almost 2 year old" entail....ELMO! This pretty much her world these days! (Literaly Elmo's World...Lalalala)

New PJ's of course with Elmo

 

Baby Lily got the boot! Elmo gets pushed around
 with some water to drink.

 

Watching Elmo on the IPad.

 

The only person that can even come close to Elmo is Ela's best friend Mackensie. Mac will be two in just a few days and Ela is obsessed. They are best friends and Ela even voluntaraily shares Elmo with him and Mac shares his trains with her.(Early love) She even calls for him at night when she can't sleep. They go to the same school and get to play everyday. Thats not enough...they also play most weekends and go to the park after school too.

Taking a stroll in the park

The carousel is a weekly staple.

Mac showing Ela how to swing.

When Ela is not dreaming of Elmo and playing with Mac, she is growing up to be quite the little girl each day. We have been potty training very well(2 times a day), self feeding without much of a mess, putting on her own shoes, playing "Mommy" to her baby,singing ABC's and the Elmo song , immitating animal sounds, and just plain talking our ears off. One of her favorite things to do recently is  "Where's Ela"

 

Check out her video at the beach with her Grandparents!

 

Where's Ela?!

 A few more pictures of energetic Ela:

She is a very good Mommy

 

 

Eating dinner with Elmo...of course.

Sleepy time with Baby Liv

Doing what she does best! EAT

Drinking out of big girl cup at Uncle Bryans wedding.

 

SuperWoman vs. SuperMom

The Great Debate....

Some days trying to be super mom is harder than others! Like so many other Mommy's out there working full time, taking care of the baby(s), being a wife, cooking and housework, etc gets the best of me. I truly never understood and appreciated what my own mothers and grandmothers went through. Some days I start the day and wonder how I am ever going to be able to make it to dinner. On the flip side each day I always find something rewarding about being a mom. It could be the little smile, Ela learning a new word, hearing she had a good day at school, or even her saying "thank you" without being asked...the best being when she just walks up and plants a wet gooey kiss on my cheek.

I never thought being a mom would be so hard at times( Parenting Fail #1 and Parenting Fail #2 ), and yet I never imagined it to be so rewarding. Just when I think that I cant handle anymore, I can. In the evening I look forward to a few minutes to myself when Ela goes to bed...and then 15 minutes later I sneak into her room to watch her sleep. I have always been amazed how being pregnant my body took over, and even as a Mom I can figure out exactly what to do(most times).  I love being a mom and it has challenged me in so many ways;It has also rewarded and enriched my life so many more.

 I have begun to learn that it is OK to have days where I cant do it all. I CAN have days when the baby goes to bed and I pour a glass of wine, skip dinner and eat ice cream, and even days where the toys stay all of the floor until the next day.You might be thinking what is prompting this post...

Today is Operation Take Away Paci --Day# 1. This got me thinking: When Ela was a few weeks/months she would only sleep in the swing and I thought we would never get her in the crib, and then came the days when she would only sleep swaddled, and then the days she would only sleep with us....Get the point? We made it through all of them and it was all in the development necessary to make her sweet little self. All this reminiscing made me realize it is harder for ME to get rid of the Paci then for Ela; My little girl is not a baby if she does not use a paci anymore and in reality it makes life so much easier FOR ME! I guess its time for ME to get over it! Low and behold as I sit here and type this blog, I put on my SUPERMOM "cape". Ela is sleeping. We talked about it during dinner, as we bathed and then before bed. She cried for 10 minutes. I went into her room, she said "Melmo"(Elmo) and I let her watch Sesame Street.(She already learned how to bargain with me) I go back into her room 10 minutes later and she is fast asleep! This is just day #1 and I will probably have to wear my "cape" all week, but Mommy's sometimes have more super powers than we think ;)

So if you were in the grips of danger...Who would you want on your side?

 SuperWoman or SuperMom

VS.